Valerie Ayzenberg: Varsity-level Track and Field and Cross Country Runner
-Sophomore at Monta Vista High School
-Varsity Track and Field and Cross Country Athlete for Monta Vista
How do you manage track and field, school, friends, family, etc.?
“Well on my track team, I'm with both of my best friends, Margo and Meghan. So it's really fun because we get to spend a lot of time together. Probably the main reason I like it is that there are a lot of friends on that team, but it can be stressful sometimes - practices can be up to like two hours long. So then I will have to do homework super quickly. And I only get to spend time with my family during dinner because they're also working. It can be stressful sometimes because it can take a long time, but in the end it's worth it.”
How do you deal with burnout?
“Yeah, to be honest, right now I am feeling a little bit of burnout just because I don't feel like I'm doing it for the running. I'm doing it to, you know, win or something. So when I do feel burnout, I just like to take a break and since the season's going to end soon, I'm probably gonna take like a week or two just for myself so that I feel like I'm actually enjoying the running. Also, I just try not to put too much pressure on myself right now. I'm just like, okay, let's just do what we want to do and not just because we want to get a lot of mileage or we want to win, but it depends.”
How do you deal with stress during and before track meets?
“I get pretty nervous during track meets, but I've noticed once I get onto the track, I feel a lot better. And my friends are always there for me. They're hyping me up, which is the best. I make sure that I’m breathing well. And I usually just try to be confident and not have negative thoughts like ‘you're gonna do awful’. I try to be positive. Usually having a goal, like having to beat a PR or just being like, okay, I'm going to run with this person helps. But yeah, having my friends there is the best, because I know I can rely on them.”
Is there a lot of internal pressure that you put on yourself? How do you deal with mental health during losses (you don’t achieve a goal you set for yourself, you lost at a competition, you got injured)?
“Yeah, I've been doing sports for a while. I started in middle school in sixth grade. I've been doing track and cross country ever since. I always want to PR (personal record) or do well. I would consider track my better sport. And so I usually put a lot of pressure on myself to do good in, for example, the 400 meters because that's my best event. And so I usually try to PR and I've put a lot of work in - I recently PR’d and I wanted to go sub 63 and I did it. I felt really bad about it for a couple of days - because of the pressure - but looking forward and just being like ‘you can do it’ really helps. But yeah, I put a lot of pressure on myself with everything, to be honest. Just try to like look at the bright side. Having my friends there helps- they tell me it's gonna be okay and that there’s always the next time. Knowing that it's only sophomore year - I have two more years to get better - helps too. Usually, I'll be a little sad in the beginning, but then I’ll realize that it's fine. I'll get through it. I just got to look on the bright side and just take care of myself when I'm injured or don't do well; my top priorities are to take care of myself and my mental health because I don't want to see track as something bad because I do love track. Sometimes it can get rough, but that's just athletics.”
Track and Field drains you both physically and mentally and so how does that affect your mental health when you have to do this day in and day out?
“Well, sometimes it can be hard to go to practice because I'll have so much homework or feel like I don't want to do this. But I've noticed that sometimes there are these moments during practice where I'll be like, ‘Wow, I'm really enjoying this’. I'd much rather be here than at home doing homework, but it can sometimes be really hard to just start running because you're just like, ‘Ugh, I don't even have to be doing this because I don't need PE credits’. Sometimes I want to just take an absence. I could go and eat whatever I want or I can sleep. Having my friends there helps- they'll be like ‘Oh, come on’. Just having them there can motivate me to run.”
Is there any parental pressure? How do you deal with it?
“I wouldn't say there's a lot of parental pressure. My parents do support me, but they can't come to every track meet because they have work. So I wouldn't say I feel as much parental pressure as I do in academics for example. I always want to make them proud. When they do come to my track meets, my dad would say something like ‘Good job’. It makes me happy and more proud, but it's not as bad as it is with other things.”
What kind of environment does your track and field team have(intense and competitive VS supportive and positive)? Which one do you thrive in?
“I would say my coach is very supportive and, although sometimes it might seem like it can be very competitive, I know that he's trying his best and helping us all out. And the team is always trying to bond. We're all friends and we all talk about everything. So that creates a very supportive environment. But in the end, for example, I might compete with my friends in cross country and track. There might be a little bit of a competition, but it's not super bad if we love to support each other. I would say a balance because it's always nice to have competition because that pushes you, but having a supportive environment is better because when you come to practice, you don't feel like it's super competitive where you always have to do your best. You feel like people are going to be there for you and you can have a bad day and they won't make fun of you or something.”
Is mental health talked about on your team? Would you like to see it talked about?
“It is kind of talked about - sometimes our coach will bring it up - but I would say that it probably should be talked about more because I feel like track and cross country or sports that you have to come every day to train can be mentally exhausting. We're training even when our season's over so sometimes that can be very tiring. It probably should be talked about more, but you know, having my friends there, I could be always like ‘We understand how you feel’. So because our team is so supportive, everybody understands. So, in a way it kind of is talked about, but not really.”
What other external pressures affect track and field? ((1) peer pressure about college, school, and T&F in college(2) social media - athletes feel a little bit of pressure when others post about what they are doing, posting just the good days and wins)
“I wouldn't say college, for example, affects me because I was talking to my mom and she doesn't really want me to do sports in college because of how tiring it can be - especially if you’re trying to learn at the same time. I will also have to devote time to that and I don't really want to have the pressure of having to get a scholarship for school. But I guess the only pressure is just me. I'm always pushing myself. My friends can sometimes put some pressure on me, but it's more of a way to push me. I guess sometimes in school when people ask me what do you do, I can feel a little bit of pressure. I feel like I need to do good now because I’m running this event, but I'm mostly the only person who puts pressure on myself. I usually just feel a little bit of pressure if I see someone getting first place. I start to think ‘You're doing so good’ and ‘Look at them getting invited to these invites’ but I don't see that as much on my social media. Maybe I just don't follow accounts like that, but the only thing that would put pressure on me is if I see someone who's super-fit going to the gym every day. For example, I don't go to the gym and sometimes I'll be like, ‘Oh, I wish I did’. But I don’t feel that much pressure from social media except when I see people doing really good - I'll be like, ‘Man, I wish I could do that too’.”
Are you comfortable talking to teammates about mental health and pressure? What types of teammates help with your mental health/wellness: examples include “keep going”?
“Yeah, I think we're all super close. We all kind of understand and having my best friends there is amazing - I always talk to them about it and I hope that they can talk to me too. So yeah. I feel pretty comfortable talking to them about it. It varies. During meets, people are always cheering you on as you run around the track. That’s super supportive. During practice, we have this thing where if someone runs by you, you say something like ‘Good job’ or ‘You’re doing great’. We want to be there for each other and cheer each other on no matter how slow or fast you are. Everyone’s in the same boat so we make sure to cheer everyone on.”
Does your coach emphasize mental health and provide support for your mental health? Would you like to see changes?
“I think he doesn't specifically prioritize it, but he does speak about it sometimes. He'll come and talk to us every week and sometimes it will have to do with mental health. He'll be like, ‘Oh, I don't want you guys to be only doing this because you want to win. I want you guys to do this because you like running’. But it would be nice if he would sometimes be more specific in terms of mental health because sometimes he can also put some pressure on us and I understand that's what coaches are supposed to do - they're supposed to push us - but I know that for some of my friends, it can be overwhelming.”